I just had an epiphany yesterday when I hung out with two buddies of mine. My friend's friend asked me what is it about me that brings value to my relationships/personal life. It was a very simple question but wasn't sure I understand it correctly nor was I sure what kind of answer he was looking for. As I took a guess and stumbled on a response I said "honesty" he said, eh wrong answer. He said "that's not my question. I didn't ask you what you value in a relationship, what's your value to a you? What is it that can not shake you. That brings the very best of your core and what you refuse to compromise on". I thought about it and still kept thinking who I am in relationships, so I responded to, "commitment. I know once I'm in it I'm committed till the end". Eh wrong answer again, he said. You keep visualizing how you are with someone when I'm asking what is it about you. Who are you? Now I was dumbfounded as to what answer he wants and what exactly is he asking. I'm thinking well what are my values to my personal life and I'm automatically thinking of my personal life. I don't understand. My guy friend was surprised that I couldn't see the value I bring nor could I articulate what that is.
What struck me is that he said he knows the answer and yet I couldn't see it nor know myself. Then I became defensive because I have a general idea of who I am or strive to be. We are all a work in progress but to stand up and vouch for my values in 15 secs. was something I suppose didn't know. My friend said I am close to answering it but without confidence.
I know or try to be an honest person, I value integrity, commitment to do what's right, not let others persuade me. I follow me for the most part. I didn't understand how could those be wrong answers? Towards the end of our conversation I had to ask "what is the value that you see in me that I'm not seeing?".
Well Estelle there it is. Your character/soul/you and the value you bring is truth and strength. Those are qualities/traits that no one can compromise you on. Knowing that and standing tall about it will never bring you down nor have to second guess what it is that you bring to the table. I teared....because someone had to tell me that and how grateful that someone out there who doesn't know me that long to recognize what I carried all along. Maybe that's a good thing that someone had to point it out because now that it's been said out loud what I bring to the table I know exactly what to look for and who would complement me at the dinner table. :)
