Are you really ready?

A friend of mine told me some good news about a guy I use to know.  She said he's has a live in girlfriend who's carrying his twins.  It was such good news because we both knew him to be someone who was ready to settle down.  He was the kind of sweet person who was looking for love but in all the wrong places.  We felt bad for him because he would go through relationships like the weather.  He didn't express the heartache he went through but we could see he was ready for love.  It's interesting because he gave up on love for a while and focused on himself.  He moved out of his two roommate living situation and bought a house on his own.  He fixed his place nice and found out a childhood friend of his lives in his town.  They hit it off the bat and have been together ever since.  This is where the universe works for you.  He was ready to settle down so he created a path that will help him get there.  He bought his first house not expecting to get a girlfriend anytime soon but his preparation and opportunity created luck that enable him to get what he wanted.  Now he's happily having twin kids with his soon to be future wife.  I had this conversation with another friend a month ago.  I asked him "why do I always attract guys who are not available?"  He said "maybe you are giving off the vibe/energy that you're not ready either."  "How is that?  I am ready!"  He said. "are you really?  If you were to settle down and have kids right now would you truly be happy?"

I took a long look at myself and honestly I said no.  I would be happy but I know in the long run there would be resentment.  Resentment to where there's still a lot of things I would like to do before I have kids.  I still need to get this certification to advance in my career.  I want to pay off all my debt.  I want to get a condo and a new car.  I want to travel to at least 2 more countries.  There's all of this stuff I need and want to do before I can fully happily give myself.  So if I were to settle down right now it wouldn't be what I truly desired yet.  So with that being said.  I don't need to rush things, I don't need to worry about the future because when I am truly ready GOD will pave the way and I will be well prepared to meet my opportunity when it presents itself at the right time.  I truly believe that and I know several stories that's living proof of God's glory.  So as long as I believe and continue to have faith in myself, GOD will always give me what I'm looking for.  It may not be at the time I want it but it WILL happen.   GOD is GOOD!

Tomorrow will always be a new day!

I had an emotional break down last night.  I'm on this strict regime plan to study for the next 3 weeks so I can take part one of my certification exam.  This plan was perfect to begin because Aug. 1st fell on a Monday.  It's an erie way to convince myself to get myself together on the first of the month especially when it fell on a Monday.  I feel so productive on Mondays.  Anyways I vowed to be disciplined and focused with no distractions because all last week I was heavily off course.  This is what I told myself and honestly I was pumped for the challenge.  Day 1 started yesterday and it was a straight blow to my face.  I actually did good I went to the library finished two chapters that I wanted and felt a sense of accomplishment along with no distractions.  Yeh well no distractions happened all day.  I didn't hear from anyone and now that the rest of my evening was set I wanted to get out of the house.  I called all my friends no one was available either booed up or had other plans.  My boo was with his kids but I didn't hear from him all day so that was no biggy.   I was starting to get emotional.  I felt a bit lonely.  I felt this way when I first moved here and had to force myself to get out which wasn't too bad but for some reason I didn't want to do that all over again.  I had plenty of friends that were sufficient enough.  The last thing I want right now is to make new friends.  I'm past it.  Anyways I started to look online what's going on and I was a excited a little cuz there were some events that sparked my interest.  Then all of a sudden time when by and I was like I rather see a movie.  I didn't feel like socializing and talking to folks.  I didn't have anything to share that would peak my interest so I rather do something alone.  Movies it is.  I was still behind watching the "Bridesmaids" movie so I went and saw that.  I was hoping I'd be the only one in the theatre  but no that place was mad packed.  I'm thinking shouldn't this movie be out of DVD by now, wow folks are still lining up to watch this.  Knowing that I was very excited.  Anyways the movie was awesome cracked me up I loved it.  Then when I got home I started to get home sick.  Part of that movie had me reminiscing about home and old friendships and how much you've experienced back then with all you friends.  I missed that.  I know everyone is a phone call away but just seeing them and being yourselves around them always has that extra comfort of who you are.  Last night I kind of felt at a stand still.  My family isn't here.  I have this little piece of me that yearns for something of my own to call family in this new city.  I guess I'm at a place where I'm still trying to find what makes a house a home, a city a home, friends your family, love your reality.  It was a tester last night for me to think this but today as I woke up I felt better that tomorrow  will always be a new day.  All I can do is proceed to day two of my studying.