Lessons Of Love

A ninety-one year old woman died
after living a long dignified life.
When she met God, she asked him something
that had long bothered her.
If Man was created in God's image,
and if all men are created equal,
why do people treat each other so badly?
God replied that each person who
enters our life has a unique
lesson to teach us.
And it is only through these
lessons that we learn about life,
people, relationships and God.
This confused the woman, so God began to explain.
When someone lies to you, it
teaches you that things are not
always as they seem. The truth is often far
beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks
people wear if you want to know their heart.
And remove your own masks to let people know yours.
When someone steals from you,
it teaches you that nothing is forever.
Always appreciate what you have,
for you never know when you might lose it.
And never, ever take your friends
and family for granted because today
is the only guarantee you have.
When someone inflicts an injury upon you,
it teaches you that the human state is a fragile one.
Protect and take care of your body
as best you can, it's the only thing
you are sure to have forever.
When someone mocks you,
it teaches you that no two people are alike.
When you encounter people who are
different from you, don't judge
them by how they look or act;
instead base your opinion on the contents of their heart.
When someone breaks your heart,
it teaches you that loving someone
does not always mean that person
will love you back. But don't turn your back
on love because when you find the right person,
the joy that one person brings will
make up for all the past hurts put together.
Times ten. When someone holds a grudge against you,
it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes.
When you are wronged, the most virtuous
thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense.
Forgiving those who have hurt us is the most difficult,
the most courageous and the noblest thing man can do.
When a loved one is unfaithful to you,
it teaches you that resisting temptation
is man's greatest challenge.
Be vigilant in your resistance against
all temptation. By doing so you will be
rewarded with an enduring sense
of satisfaction far greater
than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.
When someone cheats you,
it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil.
Aspire to make your dreams come true,
no matter how lofty they may be.
Do not feel guilty about your success,
but never let an obsession with achieving
your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.
When someone ridicules you,
it teaches you that nobody is perfect.
Accept people for their merits and be
tolerant of their flaws.
Do not ever reject someone for
imperfections over which they have no control.
Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom,
the old woman became concerned
that there were no lessons to be learned
from man's good deeds.
God replied that man's capacity to love
is the greatest gift he has.
At the root of all kindness is love,
and each act of love also teaches us a lesson.
The woman's curiosity deepening,
God once again began to explain.
When someone loves us it teaches us that love,
kindness, charity, honesty,
humility, forgiveness and
acceptance can counteract all the evil in the world.
For every good deed, there is one less evil deed.
Man alone has the power to control
the balance between good and evil,
but because the lessons of love
are not taught often enough,
the power is too often abused.
When you enter someone's life,
whether by plan, chance or coincidence,
consider what your lesson will be.
Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality?
When you die, will your life
have resulted in more loving or hurting?
More comfort or pain?
More joy or sadness? Each one of
us has power over the balance
of love in the world. Use it wisely

The right reason

Someone said "maybe a lot of marriages fail because they fell in love for the wrong reason".  I paused, because I questioned well I don't think anyone goes into marriage thinking it's going to fail.  "Of course not", he said, "but I'm sure they never got to the root as to the main reason they were in love".  So I let him elaborate more and he said "There's someone or something all of us are attracted to, looks, cars, money, security, kids, etc...it can be a long list but whatever is the basis of pursing or interested in someone make sure there's something more substantial than material things because it's not enough to hold a relationship.  I'ts not!  That's why 50% or marriages fail because the superficial basis of what makes you think you're in love can only last for so long.  What sustains us is the falling for the person.  That person as a human being outside of how much he makes for a living, how good in bed he is, his career title.  I said lets not be naive about this because we all have our preferences now, you can't fault for what makes you happy.  He agrees it's about what makes you happy but making sure what makes you happy is for the right reasons.  So here's my list of my qualifications of the right reasons:

1. Money...how does he use his money?...Does he mainly spend it on cars, fancy items?  He may be materialistic.
2. Looks...how often does he spend time checking himself?...He could be vain, insecure, superficial, gay.
3. Career title....Does he love what he do?  Or is he in it for to gain social status, to appease others.

These are my top 3 of what women look for, so in my opinion we should look a little deeper than the material items that can cloud our heads of what love is.  If we can find someone that is a bit deeper than what I listed that's great but to see if you truly love someone, I can say if you were to lose everything you had would you be there to support him and be ready to start over and build your lives together or would you resent him? Can you really answer that question.  If you know he's smart, witty, kind, strong, and have values.  Then you shouldn't doubt what he's capable of.  Another thing when times get rough, you will need motivation.  My motivation, when all things fail, can I see myself waking up first thing in the morning to see his face.  If you can stand that, then I think you have a chance at this thing called love and a fulfilling marriage.  Same goes for the men.

So who's to blame?

My girlfriend's rational for seeing someone who has a girlfriend is "that's him cheating".  She said he's not married to her, nor does he live with her so he's open to see who he wants and as far as she can see that's on him.  That may be true it's on him, I agree he's the one in a relationship.  The other woman doesn't owe the girl anything nor an explanation for that matter.  But then my question becomes why would you continue to get involved with someone you know is taken.  How does that benefit you?  Outside of the sexual gratification in which in your case is not just a sexual relationship.  You do have feelings for him and for the most part you do care for him.  So why would you play with your emotions like that.  You say for him to cheat has something to do on her end or the relationship is falling apart.  So you think because he hasn't married her yet or they are not living together that you're going to discount their relationship.  As far as I can see to say he has a girlfriend period, trumps most reasons as to why he's not getting involved with you.  Most guys would lie to say their single so for him to say he at least has a girlfriend is a major red flag that he's not looking for anything more.  But of course you can't see that, you see since he's not married nor live with her, you think it's not serious.  You think there may be a possibility for you to be included in his life, once he gets to know you, right?  That may be possible, but why would you want to be someone who's involved?  Why would you be ok just to be his appetizer when he has a full meal to come home to, that's waiting for him.  Why would you want to be his back up plan when he made plans with his girlfriend to wine and dine her and treat her his queen and then run to you when he's bored.  Are you ok with the half fast relationship?  So outside of the sexual relationship that you only have what makes you think he would treat you differently?  That's the problem you don't think!  You're thinking about you now and the selfishness you have for yourself.  But you know who's really selfish is HIM!  He's having his cake and eating it and everyone involved with him will get hurt in the end. He's not thinking either.  Of course not and the rational behind it all is ........what again?   

I guess it's not greener

Why is it that married couples encourages single folks to stay single when they're married.  What's wrong with me desiring to be married.  When I see cute married couples walking around I think it's awesome.  It's something I look forward to one day.  But why is it they want us to take our sweet time.  Hello I'm close to your age how much longer do I need?  Plus you have me thinking, what you're not happy now, are you regretting your choice?  Are you saying had you waited longer you would of married someone else?  Is that what you mean?  It's unfair for you to say such a thing when you're already in it.  It's unfair for you to take away my dreams when you are living it, it's unfair for you to say anything against marriage until you are on the other side of my shoes.  I actually think being single is overrated to a point.  People act like being single is the world.  You know what as much as I enjoy my freedom at times there are some things you still can't do alone.  You can't go to a concert alone, um loser.  You can't eat at a nice fancy restaurant all dressed up, sipping on wine alone, hmn desperate.  You can't really go to sports event alone without someone next to you to cheer with.  You can't go to a comedy show alone, ah weirdo.  You can't go to an amusement park alone, lets say  creepy.  You know what's worse, as much as being single, you can feel even lonelier when you're sharing quality time with a complete stranger you don't care for or when you're in a large crowd and no one to share your experience with. Now that's lonely.  It's a bummer cuz all the fun exciting things you can't just do by yourself.  Oh and trust, you are very lucky to find a friend to even do those things I just listed.  It's a drag and so discouraging. These are things you need a partner for and I'm just annoyed how someone is looking forward to being single after being with someone for such a long time, only to desire to be with someone better.  Good luck out there!  It's one thing to break a marriage to figure yourself out and spend time alone getting to know you and enjoying your space but to break out and stamp single to mingle good luck with that.  Of course your rouse of having fun is a different topic but to think you can find someone better because he doesn't stand par with your own selfishness is a fool soon be departed.  All that fun and excitement isn't what it's cracked up to be and before you know it you're 65 years old wondering where your time has gone.  I'm just saying folks need to stop acting like the grass is greener and make the best of your choices before you make any life changing plans.  And when you do don't pass the torch of thinking you're helping the next person out because you're not.  We all have our own paths to follow, the least you can do is to encourage us because you took that chance as well.