Let's talk hair

This happened a while back but I have to share this story.  So I was at this restaurant for happy hour on a Thursday evening.  The bar was pretty dead maybe one or two lounging around.  This young woman across the bar was sipping wine in front of me, while I was sipping beer.  She had short naturally curly hair just like I so I thought why not sit next to her and spark a conversation, why not we're both sipping alone and I figured we have something in common "our hair".  So I got her attention and yelled across the bar "are you sitting alone, may I join you?"  She said yeah come on.  The female bar tender thought it was so cute we all laughed.  Anyways we just started talking about hair from the get go.  She was asking what product do I use? How do I make it soft, when did I do the big chop?  We were both so passionate about discussing our hair and the most part was the insecurity we were going through.  This phase of wearing a certain outfit but if you had longer hair it would complete your look.  My short hair at times just made stay home.  It's sad to say but it only lasted for a short period.  In the beginning there's a sense of liberation and freedom when you first chop it off.  The lady who chopped my hair had to make sure I'm aware of what's going on.  She said she was blamed for cutting someone's hair, even though chick paid her to do it.  It's that mentaility you gotta prepare because it's not physcial, its everything.  I looked at her like dang this is serious.  I was starting to have doubts too cuz she kept saying all the negative things behind it.  Then the more she kept making sure the more I wanted to cut it.  I was all confused and emotional about the whole thing.  But whew, I got this huge weight lifted off my shoulder of being burdened with hair styles, maintaining my hair style, managing my money to keep my hair up.  It was a relief and an internal relief as well.  I felt like a new person, I felt like I can start over again.  Or at least at that moment the start of something new whatever that may be.  I was ready for a big change and the moment I looked at myself in the mirror with this new look I said wholly ish what have I done but then that moment of silence washed away and made me face the music that now I have to make the best of it with the rest of the world.  So me and this gal were just talking about now that our hair is at certain length it's starting to become hard to manage and style.  For me I have this big afro that's too short to put in a bun and but not long enough to get a certain curl to look right.  Her story behind why she did the big chop was she was tired of keeping it straight.  The humidity is not your friend with curly hair so she wanted to have that wash and go feel.  The heat must of got to her that bad to cut all her hair off especially when she said her hair was down her back, so she say.   I was more of wanting to go natural all the way the only part that wasn't was my hair so I figured why not.  Letting your hair grow and finding new natural ways to maintain it is a new exciting process that I'm following and I love it.  What I love most is that once it grows to it's fullest potential I will be more than happy to say every bit of this experience is all worth it. 

Movie "Timer"

TiMER

2009R99 minutes

In this comedic fantasy, science has facilitated the search for a soul mate via biotechnological implants that count down to the moment one is supposed to meet his or her match. But Oona (Emma Caulfield) is worried: She's nearly 30, and her TiMER isn't ticking yet. Will her dream guy get snatched up by someone else?

This movie is hilarious but so true in so many ways.  After watching this movie, of course, I started thinking what if there were something like that.  To know when you'll meet your soul mate.  I mean to know the exact date to meet your soul mate does that mean you have a time line to be buck wild?  Would all your experiences of trying to find your soul mate mean nothing since you knew all along he wasn't your life time partner.  If that's the case then what's the point right, of discovering life?  Because I think a part of this journey of living life is the experience of love and sorrow.  I think it's the grain that makes us.  These experiences, others experiences, stories, sharing.....could go on forever on what makes the world go round.  To know what may happen tomorrow to be certain and a guarantee just takes away the essence of just being.  Is there even such thing as a soul mate?  I've had this question come across several times in through the years and the older I get and to answer that just makes think of the question differently and my though process is even deeper to look into.  Of course when I was younger lets say 21 I believed it, I figured it exist.  Then when I was in love with my boyfriend at the time I thought well of course it does I found him.  Oh how I was wrong but was I wrong?  At the time I vouched for it, even died for it if anyone contested me but now if you asked me today I couldn't tell you if the sky is blue without someone proving it to me.  I sound a bit cynical but now with the experiences I've had and what has helped me in the growth process.  I say growth because I can say I've gone past the realization that if I came across those "feelings" I went through when I was 18, 22, 24 I guess I can distinguish the difference a little more.  If I had the choose it all again and go back to what I know now, would it make a difference?  No it wouldn't.  I'm starting to think that time doesn't have a time line so these experiences I had at 21 wouldn't be no different than if I had it at 27 either way I was still affected and the impact makes me a part of who I am today.  Or whatever experience I haven't been through today, but may experience in several years will just be the added value of who I will become.  Hopefully by then I would like to be a more wiser person to say the least.  I do believe there is someone for everyone just finding that right partner is what makes life so exciting and miserable.  So back to this movie if you had the chance to know for sure the date of when you would find your soul mate would you want to know?

Defining dating

I was listening to the radio on my way home from work today.  The DJ brought up the subject from one of the listeners on letting their daughter date several guys.  Before he went into his answer he said "let me first define the word dating because a lot of you are still confused about that".  I laughed and thought please clarify.  He said, "dating is the get to know you process that leads to something more eventually.  There's no relationship established nor sexual relationship in the works until you both established that.  If yall sleeping together then it's a casual relationship, no agreement has been made so therefore, you can't really call it dating."  So in summary from his definition dating is a friendship basis until discussed otherwise.  Why didn't I know this somehow.  Why when he said it, it made all the sense in the world. I suppose dating is open game, he can still see other people, I can still see other people.  I guess it gets complicated when I made out with you on Friday and you're on a date with another chick on Sat. Should I really be bothered by it?  I guess in legal terms no but then I got to question does he really like me or is he playing games? Can I say that he kissing a lot of other girls make me feel special?  Hmn I don't.  I don't know how a guy does it but that's a lot of energy, money, and effort to be dating more than one woman.  According to the rule I can't be mad, but I will say this unless he has a lot of money to spend (which wouldn't affect him), if he continues to put his energy, money, and effort on you then maybe it's something worth while to hold on to until you do have the talk of establishing a relationship.  Because until then ladies yall only dating right?

Can we be friends?

My team at work which composes of a total of 4 are all pretty young meaning the oldest is 40.  I'm the youngest in the group and also single.  Everyone else is married.  For the most part I don't feel out of place when it comes to tv shows, current gossip, and things we do on the weekends.  Well for me I seem to be the entertaining one with stories to tell.  I can't even say stories it's more of me generally speaking and they delve deeper into what I'm discussing.  So the other day I kept referring to my happy hour friend.  Then my boss asks if he' s a guy.  I thought does it matter?  Which I responded just like that and then everyone assumed he's a guy which they were right.  I guess I was a bit reluctant about it because I already know where they're going with this.  How come you're just friends, how did you meet, etc.etc.  Well the kicker is I told them it's just a happy hour buddy who I meet on occasion who happens to be married.  Yes he is married and he's not hiding it.  He and I already had the talk of what his intentions are with me and why we hang out.  I felt like there are no lines crossed and we can be friends.  Until he crosses that line then our "friendship" would end.  Plain and simple.  They were all condemning me for hanging out with a married man and saying I'm setting up the foundation for something to happen, which I totally understand and not naive to know the potential damage....not in my life but his if his wife knew.  But then again what does she need to know that he's hanging out with a single gal.  There's plenty of single women at happy hour.  We happen to meet same time same place nothing more nothing less.  I pay for my meals he pays for his.  I see nothing wrong.  What I did realize after my boss pointed out is what am I getting out of it.  His benefit is that another women is giving him attention and the possibility of what may happen is exciting to him and this drives him to meet me every time. The excitement of getting closer and closer can lead to something.  I get that he's a guy so he hasn't put much thought into our friendship cuz I haven't either.  But I did notice that every time I do see him he's getting to know a little bit more of me, more to where I'm getting comfortable and relaxed and he's starting to know a little of my secrets.  I don't know too much about him but he's older so I'm sure he knows more of me than I know myself at this point.  So what am I benefiting from this, his company, someone to talk to, amend the loneliness, killing time, the attention?  I don't know but I am getting the short end of the stick because I can use this energy to meet someone new to where the possibilities can evolve into something more compared to his version of what we can evolve to.  So my question is can we be friends? Because it's not about male or female, married or single...but are you both benefiting from this friendship in a positive way and my answer is no.  

New to this!

Hello my fellow blogger stalkers/fans. (I hope to have some soon.)  But I finally decided to write out my daily/weekly/seehowIfeelblogs.  I have a lot to say and I have some fascinating/random experiences that I should share.  I figure why not share them  for your amusement but it's not so amusing to me till after the fact. I don't know what it is but my "aura" on how certain things seem to happen to me, seem to happen to me.  I swear I'm a sane, educated, fair, nice, kind, goofy, attractive gal who seems to attract all walks of life and yet I'm questioning is this normal? I was told I should have a reality show, but writing it out to me will always be kept real.  So with the support from my lovely friends and interesting topics that I seem to overly explain,  I figure why not post it out there and let the world (my close circle) know.  So my fans let my door open to funny stories and embarrassing moments begin! 

xoxo

Just watched the movie "Singles"

Below is a general synopses about the movie;
1992 PG

Generation X neighbors share their bittersweet, intertwined stories of the single life in director Cameron Crowe's quirky relationship comedy set against the backdrop of Seattle's grunge music scene in the 1990s. The film boasts a killer soundtrack with cuts from Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains and more and features Bridget Fonda, Campbell Scott, Kyra Sedgwick, Matt Dillon and Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder (in a cameo role as a rocker).

I just finished watching this movie a few hours ago sipping on red wine, yup, yup.  It was made in 92 and I couldn't believe how relevant it is to 2010!  Talk about art imitating life.  I believe this movie just sparked a whole generation after them on what dating is about or was dating always like this.  Hmn in 92 I was still in Jr. High so who cares right.  Well I didn't think it could be so complicated then because now dating today is so complicated.  I can't believe there's a process before even calling it dating now a days.  When did it ever get like this?  I remember in high school how a boy (emphasis here because yes they were still boys) would show his interest and you would blush when he asked you "would you be my girl? or something like that and you were automatically a couple.  We didn't think of the after math we were just glad to have a boyfriend because we all knew that having a boyfriend in jr. high and high school was a status, that you were somewhat popular or likable.  So there you go walking down the halls holding hands doing what kids do, smiling and being googly eyes all the way down the hall, not discussing anything other than what you were doing for the weekend.  Are we meeting at the mall or movie theater?  Today if a guy ask me to go to the movies my question is, is this a date and are you paying?...Of course I didn't say that but I questioned it in my head all the way to the theater and I still get confused even after the movies.  A friend said well that's fine if he asked you but did he pay cuz then that will be considered a date.  Then I questioned so if it's a date does that mean he's interested in more dates or is it a one time thing I suppose that's when you will know on the first date.  So then what happens when you go on several dates and he refers to you as "hanging out" but not dating.  I'm so confused and I've come to realized how we all want to define things but these definitions are making everything oh so complicated but then again it's an oxymoron because how else would you explain your thing to others or yourself.  So see, now I resort back to my high school dating and say at  least he likes you.......Well we'll go back to defining what "like" is another time..