It took me 3 wine glasses and 2 sake bombers for me to say this. I've accepted it for what it is. For he to say he's not ready, says he's not ready. I'm not going to sugar coat it or make it an excuse. He wants to continue to see me and treat me like a lady but the purpose is no use. He's not ready. I'm drowned with 2 glasses of sake and 3 wine glasses and my vision seems all too clear. As much as I want to be with him and yearn for his desires it's still clear....he's not ready. I can't make him. Nor can I make him realize that I am. Because I am ready, ready for what may happen, ready that the possibilities of what can happen, I am ready for. It's so easy for others to face reality but for me it's so much more. It's the more that I plan, it's the more that I seek, it's the more that I yearn for and the desire that I speak. Whatever that me be he's still not ready for me and what's so sad to say is that he still can't explain but yet he still wants to continue to see me. What more can you see, what I'm giving myself and showing myself, is for you to seek. I say seek a lot because it's the purpose to discover but yet my lover is hiding in covers. I don't know anymore and I'm trying to face truth. I'm tired and worn out and there's no place to escape. Whoever has pity on me no need to try. I've covered my eyes and I can no longer lie. It is what it is and there's no story behind us, just like he said he's not ready to bind us.
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