Tomorrow will always be a new day!

I had an emotional break down last night.  I'm on this strict regime plan to study for the next 3 weeks so I can take part one of my certification exam.  This plan was perfect to begin because Aug. 1st fell on a Monday.  It's an erie way to convince myself to get myself together on the first of the month especially when it fell on a Monday.  I feel so productive on Mondays.  Anyways I vowed to be disciplined and focused with no distractions because all last week I was heavily off course.  This is what I told myself and honestly I was pumped for the challenge.  Day 1 started yesterday and it was a straight blow to my face.  I actually did good I went to the library finished two chapters that I wanted and felt a sense of accomplishment along with no distractions.  Yeh well no distractions happened all day.  I didn't hear from anyone and now that the rest of my evening was set I wanted to get out of the house.  I called all my friends no one was available either booed up or had other plans.  My boo was with his kids but I didn't hear from him all day so that was no biggy.   I was starting to get emotional.  I felt a bit lonely.  I felt this way when I first moved here and had to force myself to get out which wasn't too bad but for some reason I didn't want to do that all over again.  I had plenty of friends that were sufficient enough.  The last thing I want right now is to make new friends.  I'm past it.  Anyways I started to look online what's going on and I was a excited a little cuz there were some events that sparked my interest.  Then all of a sudden time when by and I was like I rather see a movie.  I didn't feel like socializing and talking to folks.  I didn't have anything to share that would peak my interest so I rather do something alone.  Movies it is.  I was still behind watching the "Bridesmaids" movie so I went and saw that.  I was hoping I'd be the only one in the theatre  but no that place was mad packed.  I'm thinking shouldn't this movie be out of DVD by now, wow folks are still lining up to watch this.  Knowing that I was very excited.  Anyways the movie was awesome cracked me up I loved it.  Then when I got home I started to get home sick.  Part of that movie had me reminiscing about home and old friendships and how much you've experienced back then with all you friends.  I missed that.  I know everyone is a phone call away but just seeing them and being yourselves around them always has that extra comfort of who you are.  Last night I kind of felt at a stand still.  My family isn't here.  I have this little piece of me that yearns for something of my own to call family in this new city.  I guess I'm at a place where I'm still trying to find what makes a house a home, a city a home, friends your family, love your reality.  It was a tester last night for me to think this but today as I woke up I felt better that tomorrow  will always be a new day.  All I can do is proceed to day two of my studying.